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What Ever Happened to SpongeBob? (transcript)
s article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePantsepisode "What Ever Happened to SpongeBob?" from season five, which aired on Summer 2002. * begins outside of SpongeBob's house at night. Spongebob’s foghorn alarm goes off, making sheets fly off of SpongeBob's bed. His eye literally peel open * SpongeBob: jumps out of bed and bounces off walls landing in front of Gary Good morning, Gary! out window Good morning, Mister Mailman! * Mailman: Morning, SpongeBob. Ah, it is a good morning, isn't it. Mailman crashes into a truck on his bicycle and flies across the sky AAAHHH! * SpongeBob: Isn't life great, Gary? Oh, what a beautiful day. I have the best friends... * Squidward: Ah, stay away! Oh, another SpongeBob nightmare. * SpongeBob: The best job... * the Krusty Krab * Mr. Krabs: He's already 10 seconds late! I'm docking him a month's pay for this. * SpongeBob: And, of course, the bestest pet. * Gary: Meow. squeezes Gary in a hug, which causes Gary's shell to break. SpongeBob runs out of his house * SpongeBob: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! into Patrick * Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob. * SpongeBob: Hey Patrick! How goes it? * Patrick: Well, it was great until you showed up. around and shows a cake splattered on his belly * SpongeBob: What's that? * Patrick: Oh, just a birthday cake for my mom that I spent all day baking. I'm gonna go back and make a 2nd b-day cake that my mom will like. Good neighbors! * SpongeBob: Oh, that's the first time someone's called me that. Wait, I know who will enjoy my company. goes to the door of Squidward's house * SpongeBob: Squidward! * Squidward: You’re not horrible neighbors! Don't you ever wake me up from my beauty sleep! Do you understand? Good Neighbors. to the Treedome, where Sandy has invented a robot * Sandy: It's all done! My greatest invention yet! robot starts to dance * SpongeBob: Sandy! What a neat robot! trips on a log. Some of the water from his helmet goes onto Sandy's robot * Sandy: No!! robot blows up * SpongeBob: Let me explain. You see... I was passing by the tree, and I thought it'd be funny if I gave you a surprise. * Sandy: Oh, you gave me a surprise, alright. Look at the surprise I got! shows the destroyed robot then pushes SpongeBob out Get out of here! Good Neighbors! * SpongeBob: sniffles I guess that means there's only one place left to go. A place where I am wanted, wherever they like it or not! to the Krusty Krab SpongeBob WorkPants reporting for duty, Mr. Krabs. * Mr. Krabs: Hurry up and get in there, boy! Patties need flipping. * SpongeBob: No worries, captain! trips on some frying pans Oops, well, all in a day's work. Now, back to doing what I do best! No way I can mess this up... slides on a puddle of water and starts screaming * Mr. Krabs: with his dollars, laughing Mr. Dollar, allow me to introduce you to Mrs. Dollar. SpongeBob's screaming What the barnacles is going on? * SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! slides and hits Mr Krabs. Mr. Krabs falls in the fryer and gets out immediately Mr. Krabs, are you OK? * Mr. Krabs: I'm fine, as long as me money's OK. and Mr. Krabs notice both dollars in the fryer * Mr. Dollar: Mrs. Dollar Although we've only known each other a short time, I want you to know... I love you. dollars disintegrate as they cry. SpongeBob laughs nervously * Mr. Krabs: out SpongeBob If I were you, I'd get as far away from me as possible-- Good Neighbors! is shocked and alarmed * SpongeBob: up into a little ball I guess that's it, then. If Mr. Krabs is calling me "Good Neighbors", it must be true. I know what must be done! starts crying, his tears creating a river that leads him to his house. At his house, he packs his clothes I somehow managed to make everyone mad at me. At least you still like me, right, Gary? * see Spunky putting a bandage on his back. He hisses at SpongeBob * Rocko: sighs I'll miss you too, buddy. There's a year's supply of snail food for you. out of his house and turns around Goodbye, pineapple. chimney blows Rocko up in the skyGoodbye, Big Head. Goodbye, Heffer. Goodbye, Shelia. Goodbye, O-Town. Goodbye, life as I know it. lands on the road next to the sign Welcome to Bikini Bottom. Population 538. out the "8" with a chalk and puts a "7" next to it Minus 1. leaves Bikini Bottom down the road Good Neighbors, Good Neighbors, Good Neighbors, Good Neighbors, Good Neighbors, Good Neighbors, Good Neighbors, Good Neighbors, Good Neighbors, Good Neighbors... night, SpongeBob is scared by a bunch of very weird people. In the deleted scene, a scallop is crowing while he sees the weird people. He runs for his life, but falls off the cliff upside down, causing him to hit his head on a bunch of rocks until he reaches the bottom of the cliff. Now he's got a long bump on his head Oooh, boy, that's quite a lump. I better not hit my head again. That might cause a concussion. hobo stick, containing the things that he packed, hits him on the head, causing him to faint. Cut to Patrick, who is knocking on SpongeBob's door and drinking a milkshake * Sandy: Patrick, where's SpongeBob? * Patrick: I don't know. I've been knocking on his door for three hours. I need his hot sauce for my milkshake. his milkshake * Sandy: We ain't got time for that. Hi-yah! through the door * Gary: Mrloooow. * Sandy: Gary? Where are you, little guy? for Gary * Gary: Mrloooow. * Sandy: Gary? Gary? on some of Gary's snail slime on his bottom. Cut to see that Gary is now extremely huge and overweight * Gary: Mrloow. * Sandy: Gary! What happened to you? * Gary: Mrlooooooowrooowroowrooow. sees a note on Gary's food bowl * Sandy: A note. up the note and reads it To whom it may concern: if you found this letter, that means Gary's food bowl is empty and that it needs to be refilled. It also means it's been approximately one year since I've split town, and no one's noticed 'til now. No one needs to worry, I won't bother anyone again. Sincerely, SpongeBob. A.K.A. Good Neighbors. and Sandy look at each other sadly. Cut to SpongeBob, who wakes up when he hears villagers * Harold: I could use this. * Jennifer-Millie: Yeah, I like these here. * Harold: This is top quality. * SpongeBob: Hello there. villagers gasp What's going on? * Harold: Oh, we thought you were taking a dirt nap, but we organized your clothes for you... SpongeBob. * SpongeBob: forgot who he is, SpongeBob looks behind himself, then turns around to the villagers Are you talking to me? * Harold: Isn't this your name? his nametag * SpongeBob: I don't know, is it? * Harold: You don't know your name? * SpongeBob: All I know is that I hit my head on some rocks! Now I can't seem to remember anything. villagers wink at each other * Harold: Err, well, then I'll remind you that these are not your clothes, and your name isn't SpongeBob, it's, umm... it's... CheeseHead BrownPants. Ha ha! That's it! * SpongeBob: CheeseHead BrownPants CheeseHead, huh? his pockets Wait a minute, what's this? a bubble bottle * Harold: Bubbles?! * villagers scream and run away * CheeseHead: I wonder what got into them? the town called "New Kelp City". Cut to a "BREAKING NEWS" slide * Perch Perkins: We interrupt this program for an important announcement. to Perch Perkins in Bikini Bottom, where a crowd of people are panicking Bikini Bottom is literally in a state of total chaos tonight. muscular guy pushes Perch * Muscular Guy: on screen Literally! off * Perch Perkins: up weakly with a black eye We go now to news scene chopper 7. What's up? * News Chopper: see someone flying in a helicopter Not looking too good out here, Perch. The Krusty Krab is about to come apart of the hinges. Customers are in a rage over not getting their Krabby Patties. * Mr. Krabs: to Squidward Squidward, where the barnacles is SpongeBob? This place is going down the toilet! Patties need flipping! * Squidward: If I knew, do you think I'd be standing here getting yelled at by a bunch of morons? * Mr. Krabs: Don't talk back to your superior officer, you... * start arguing. Sandy comes in * Sandy: Squidward! Mr. Krabs! Y'all seen SpongeBob? * Squidward: I think we just went through this... * Mr. Krabs: What he means to say is, no, we haven't. * Sandy: Well, apparently, he's left Bikini Bottom, and he ain't coming back. Mr. Krabs the note * Mr. Krabs: Let me see that. to read To whom that may concern, if you found this letter, that means muttering sincerely... AKA...AKA? Good Neighbors? GOOD NEIGHBORS?! It is SpongeBob! What am I gonna do without me fry cook?! * Patrick: What am I gonna do without my best friend?! I should never have been mean to you! to cry * Sandy: I should have never kicked you out of my house! to cry. Her helmet fills up with tears * Squidward: sadly If I knew that was the last time I've seen SpongeBob-- happily I would have slammed the door in his face even harder! laughing. Everyone except Squidward and Mr. Krabs is very sad. Mr. Krabs pushes the customers out of the Krusty Krab * Mr. Krabs: All right, all right, group meeting. Everybody out! The Krusty Krab's closed until further notice! the doors Now... and the others gather around how do you propose we find me money-making employee? * to CheeseHead BrownPants in the streets of New Kelp City * CheeseHead: Whoo, I live in a dump! into a green fish * Fish: Hey, watch where your stepping! * CheeseHead: Sorry, sir, I was just- * Fish: I know what you was doing. You was doing the old "bump into the sucker and reach into his pockets and take his change" routine, but it ain't gonna work this time. You want money? Get a job, you deadbeat! * CheeseHead: I'm a jobless deadbeat? What a sad existence I don't remember I live. to black. Cut back to him. His tummy is grumbling Ooh, seems like I'm running on empty. his pockets and sighs Not a penny to my name. Well, I guess if I want to fill the hole in my gut, I'll need to fill a job somewhere. a bank sign that says "Help Wanted" Help wanted? * Lisa: Well, Mr... BrownPants... you seem to have left this entire application blank. * CheeseHead: laughs I can't remember a thing. * Lisa: Well, do you have any special skills? * CheeseHead: Special skills... oh, I can do this! a bubble * Lisa: screams Oh, what do you think you're doing?! out CheeseHead Sorry, sir, but we run a respectable business here! slams the door * CheeseHead: Okay, I guess they don't want you blowing bubbles, unless it directly relates to the job at hand. he is hired as a builder Thanks for the job, boss! You won't be disappointed. * Builder: That's real sweet, BrownPants, but I don't hear that hammer pounding. * CheeseHead: the hammer while flying on a bubble Then this might be music to your ears. * Builder: the bubble Neptune's son, what are you doing? down from the building You aren't doing that on my building site! You're fired! bubble pops and CheeseHead falls down * CheeseHead: I do not understand this. What is wrong with this city? Maybe it's not the city. Maybe it's me. at a man from All That Glitters Hey, mister, Look at me! Mister, look at me! Is there something wrong with me? a gruesome look on his face, then he makes a snot bubble, the man screams and runs away. Cut to the Krusty Krab * Sandy: Listen up, y'all! I got a plan to bring back SpongeBob. * Mr. Krabs: You do? * Sandy: Yup, and it involves this. a device It'll track any sponge within a 50-mile radius. * Squidward: So, you're saying this thing can actually find SpongeBob? * Sandy: You got it, SquidCakes, but it's gonna take all of us to find-- smashes the device with a hammer, everyone gasps * Squidward: the hammer while panting heavily like a maniac Oops, I dropped it. inhales air and inflates like a balloon, and floats up in the air * :''' Hey, Squidward, I'm floating! I actually floating! Yay! Whoa! Weeeee! * '''Squidward: laughs I wouldn't seek out that twit for all the leotards of the sea. * Mr. Krabs: If you don't find him, you'll be out of a job forever. * Squidward: Ha! Is that your version of a threat? * Mr. Krabs: Oh, Squidward, don't forget your retirement gift. * Squidward: Mr. Krabs, I am not interested in any– gasps Is that a handcrafted jewel-encrusted ornamental egg? That'll complete my collection! Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, Mr. Krabs! * Mr. Krabs: Not so fast! Squidward Bring back me number one fry cook first. * to CheeseHead, who is cold in the streets of New Kelp City. He goes to get warm near a fire * Fish: Real drag, isn't it? Having to stand around the fire for warmth every night? * CheeseHead: Yeah. * Other Fish: Heh, not for us... we're just waiting in line for a new video game. * CheeseHead: I guess I am just a jobless deadbeat. sighs You guys mind if I bubble? * Fish: frightened You can't do that here!! * CheeseHead: But... bubbles will steady the ol' nerves. Watch. a bubble See? Feeling better already. * who sees the bubble screams and runs away * CheeseHead: What could possibly be wrong with practicing the bubble arts? scene onlySeems like a harmless activity. laughs * BrownPants gets ready to blow another bubble, when he is approached by a gang who are snapping their fingers. When he walks away slowly one of them grabs him * Bubble Poppin' Boys Leader: Do you have any... others continue snapping I think we've made our point with the snapping! stop snapping As I was saying... do you have any idea who we are? * CheeseHead: Um, wait... err, um... don't tell me, um... * Bubble Poppin' Boys Leader : Don't answer. laughs I'll show ya. around to show the back of his shirt, which says "Bubble Poppin' Boys" We call us the Bubble Poppin' Boys. And article 1 of our charter prohibits bubble blowing on our turf. the bubble. Its water gets in his eyes and he gets angry, showing his red eyes You see why we don't allow bubbles in our city? Fortunately, we have ways of dealing with careless bubble blowers like you. Let's rough him up, boys! gang is ready to beat CheeseHead, but he sheds his skin and runs away * Bubble Poppin' Boys Leader: Where'd he go? him run After him!! * tries to hide from the Bubble Poppin' Boys, but they surround him. He blows four bubbles to make a stairway. One of the Bubble Poppin' Boys climbs up a street light. He then blows a bubble raft and hops on it * CheeseHead: Ah, I'll be making this getaway in comfort. Bubble Poppin' Boys try to shoot down the bubble raft with slingshots. CheeseHead blows a bubble paddle and paddles away, but one of the slingshots pop the bubble raft and paddle, causing him to fall. He lands on the street safely, but the bottle of bubble soap spills, and the bubble wand falls in the sewer. The Bubble Poppin' Boys are running towards him, but he sticks his hand into the spilled bubble soap and blows a big bubble to trap the Bubble Poppin' Boys, causing them to float up and out of New Kelp City * Man: You- you did it! and runs over to CheeseHead Do you realize what you've done? * CheeseHead: No. * Man: You have freed the city. Citzens of New Kelp, come out of the shadows, 'cause CheeseBoy kicked the Bubble Poppin' gang right out of town! of the citizens of New Kelp City come out and blow bubbles * All: Thank you, CheeseBoy! * Man #2: What an amazing gift CheeseBoy has given us. * CheeseHead: Actually, it's CheeseHead. car appears. Its horn honks as a window rolls down, and the mayor of New Kelp City appears * Mayor: Well, CheeseHead, this is a historic day for New Kelp City. You have rid this city of the Bubble Poppin' Boys, and restored bubble-blowing to the streets. laughs Something I wasn't able to do for 20 years as mayor. For this, I appoint you... his hat on CheeseHead's head mayor of New Kelp City! * All: up CheeseHead All hail mayor CheeseHead!! smiles. Cut to Patrick, Sandy and Squidward, who are still searching for the yellow sponge. * Sandy: SpongeBob! * Patrick: SpongeBob! * Sandy: SpongeBob! * Patrick: up the road Buddy? You there? the road down * Sandy: SpongeBob! at the truck stop Maybe someone at that truck stop has seen our porous little buddy. * Patrick: SpongeBob! walk to the truck stop * Sandy: There he is, guys! * Patrick: Huh? SpongeBob! and runs into Shubie Oh, I knew I'd find you, buddy! Look at you. You haven't changed a bit. Let's go home and eat a gallon of seanut butter. * Sandy: That's not SpongeBob, Patrick. There's SpongeBob. drops Shubie. She points to the newspaper carrier * Patrick: yells I'll get ya out of this cage, buddy! the glass with a brick and hugs the newspaper You're safe now in my arms. that the picture of SpongeBob on the newspaper is gone Huh? Where'd you go now? cries * Sandy: Uh, Pat? All the ink came off on your belly. * Patrick: Oh. * Sandy: Now let's see what that little critter's up to. reads New mayor of... gasps SpongeBob's mayor of New Kelp City! * Mayor CheeseHead: is giving a speech to the citizens with a gleeful Patrick and a surprised Sandy and Squidward in the audience Citizens of New Kelp City. I don't know much about politics or balanced budgets or how to be a "leader". I'm not exactly sure what a mayor is, but I do know this, while I am wearing the mayor's hat it will always be safe to blow bubbles on the streets of new kelp or my name isn't CheeseHead BrownPants. * Sandy: CheeseHead BrownPants? * Man #3: New Kelp City has brown-pants mania. people rip off there own pants to show them wearing brown pants like the mayor's, everyone cheers until Sandy interrupts * Sandy: Hang on a minute. I don't mean to put a damper on the mood here but Bikini Bottom needs you back, SpongeBob. * Mayor CheeseHead: What's that? * Sandy: Well, I'm sorry I yelled at you, buddy. * Mayor CheeseHead: Oh, this is a surprise. * Sandy: Surprised I found you? * Mayor CheeseHead: No, surprised at seeing a talking weasel. * Sandy: gasps It's me, Sandy. Don't pretend you don't remember me, SpongeBob. * Mayor CheeseHead: Sorry, Sandy. But I'd probably remember another underwater, talking weasel. * Patrick: You may not remember the weasel but you haven't forgotten your best friend, have you? rips off the mayor's sleeve to reveal half of a tattoo that reads, "Best Friends, Spring Break * Mayor CheeseHead: I have no idea how that got there. All I remember is hitting my head, blowing some bubbles and now, poof, I'm mayor. * Sandy: You must've lost your memory when you hit your head. You'll just have to come back with us to Bikini Bottom. The familiar surroundings will bring your memory right back. * Mayor CheeseHead: Uh, sorry, weasel girl, I can't leave. These people need my leadership. In fact, I'm late for a meeting. * Sandy: CheeseHead BrownPants enters a limo SpongeBob, wait! the limo leaves it turns around which reveals Squidward is the one driving * Squidward: Don't just stand there, get in. * Sandy: Squidward? * Squidward: Hurry up! and Sandy enter the limo Decorative egg, here I come. is leaving New Kelp City, then reaches the Krusty Krab * Sandy: Here it is! You must recognize this place. * Mayor CheeseHead: Nope. * Mr. Krabs: Don't recognize the Krusty Krab? Stop your kidding, boy. And start frying up them patties. * Mayor CheeseHead: I was a fry cook before? * Mr. Krabs: Aye, the best in the business. Now get flipping. * Mator CheeseHead: Look, guys, as much as I'd love to toil the days away flipping burgers, I think I'll just go back to my modest job as mayor of a major city. * Squidward: Whoo-hoo-hoo, SpongeBob's leaving for real this time! * Squidward: Mr. Krabs, I brought back your number one fry cook you gotta pay up. * Mr. Krabs: All right, Mr. Squidward, a deal's a deal. Here's your fancy egg. * Squidward: Ohh It's BEAU-TI-FUL! sobs with excitement and is admiring his egg until he slips on a greasy spatlua which sends the egg flying STOOOOOP! the mayor leaves the Krusty Krab, the egg crashes onto his head, Squidward is upset that his egg is destroyed, a bump rises on the yellow sponge's head * Sandy: You OK, SpongeBob? * SpongeBob: Yeah, just a bit of a headache, Sand- looks around the Krusty Krab Hey, I remember this place. * Sandy: SpongeBob's back! * Mr. Krabs: We're really sorry we ran you out of town, boy. But we're glad you're back. * SpongeBob: I'd really love to stay, but the people of New Kelp City need their mayor. Good-bye, everyone. * Patrick, Sandy, Mr. Krabs: Huh? What? Oh, not again. * Squidward: He's leaving, again! * Perch Perkins: Stop what you're doing and don't go out that door. This is a KNKC special report. Panic in the streets of New Kelp City as rampant bubbles bring visibility down to 0. The angry citizens here blame the apocalyptic scene on Mayor CheeseHead BrownPants and his newly-enacted bubble policy. muscular fish pushes him on the screen * Construction Fish: If I ever see Mayor Brown Pants again I'm gonna grab his little, yellow head and literally rip his!-- changes to "We Are Experiencing Technical Difficulties. Please Stay Tuned." * Mr. Krabs: Where's SpongeBob? * is in the Krusty Krab kitchen * SpongeBob: a bell Order up! a Krabby Patty on plate Who wants to be a dumb old mayor when you're the best fry cook in town? And how could I ever leave behind my bestest friend? * Patrick: Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, Krabby Patty! eats the Krabby Patty SpongeBob, another masterpiece. * Sandy: It's great to have you back, Spongy. * SpongeBob: sighs Looks like I'm back in Bikini Bottom forever. * the background cows are mooing. Squidward opens his head, removes his brain, and throws into the trash [[Category:Transcripts]